Insult without curse words – It is bad to insult someone, especially in terms of their looks, merit and dressing style.

However, there are people who do bizarre things to grab the attention and end up as laughing stocks. When you are vying for attention, you need to have something significant in you to make people bow down you.

Some have gift of the gab, some have best pen style, some have relentless sense of humor to bring the house down while some have achieved mighty degrees in succession by determination and sheer hard work. Everyone has their own reason to be noted but then we have ‘Dhinchak Pooja’s on the loose.

Well, their bubble needs to be burst and here are the ways you can insult without using a single curse word:

Insult without curse words –

“Why do play hard to get when you are hard to want?”

What is the cascading celebration of the self for, boy! You need to have some substance to be wanted.

“You are impossible to underestimate”

Obviously, god has sent you as the underestimated one, you are already in the lowest low.

“Please realize that people just tolerate you”

Your rants, your boisterous cheapness is tolerated, not appreciated.

“Your gene pool could use a little more chlorine”

It’s toxic, ew!

“You are not pretty enough to be stupid”

A pretty face still sells but how do you think you are going to sell with that butterface of yours?

“You look like a visible fart”

You do. You know when the fart is visible? the moment you fart in a glass full of water. You are as gross!

“The person who has asked you to be yourself has probably given you the worst advice”

Be a little altruistic and stopped being yourself already. Have mercy on the mankind! Oh puhleez!

“I completely envy people who haven’t met you!”

I can’t begin to imagine how lucky they are. I just am tuning into a green eyed monster thinking about them here.

“I neither have time nor crayons to express it to you”

Because your low-lying intellect level can even shame a child, you will probably need graphic detailing, erm! Paintings done with crayons to understand that I am chipping away at your prestige, boy, I am sorry I have no time for that!

“If you are a candle, better burnt out”

Because candles are meant to be burnt and that’s that. No offense there!

“You will be utterly forgotten”

Because, bad memories are always meant to be.

“I hope your day is as pleasant as you are”

Read between the lines there.

These are the ways you can insult without curse words – If they still not seem to be taken to task, see through them, just.

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Hilarious ways to treat friends – We, as teenagers and college-students fodder on pocket money which run dry in a matter of 15 days.

While in the first day of the moth we are king, halfway through the month that royal feeling dwindles. Then we are left with only one option, borrow money from friends and friends who fall in that never-need-to-return-the-money loop, make the dreadful appearance in the first week of month again and the cycle continues. It’s always our temptation that leads us to borrow money and repayment is worse as they come.

Especially during the studenthood when we have limited money to survive on and asking more from parents will only leave them on the boil.

Since we are forever indebted, here are some relatable and hilarious ways to treat friends when we sense they might just ask for the money back:

Hilarious ways to treat friends

1 – Oh I forgot you existed:

Debtors are equally annoying like the insurance agents and when you see them approach, the cold sweat comes. You so wished for them to lose in oblivion but they are here again, to get on your nerves.

2 – You try to blackmail them:

You threaten to spill the beans before his girlfriend about last night where he let out his true Casanova self.

3 – You cook up excuses:

Shucks! My wallet always keeps go missing. I think I need a couple of more days to track it down. *pokerface*

4 – You shower them with compliments:

Before they could open their mouths and ask for the money, you shower them with compliments and cause a heartmelt.

5 – You simply feign ignorance:

You pretend to forget the event of loaning money from them altogether. Worse, you ask them to raise an eye-witness for it!

6 – You just go melodramatic:

Because going melodramatic is all you left with now that all doors are closed.

7 – You ask them to take a chill pill:

And you know your heart is thumping like a railway-engine right inside the body.

8 – You just make faces:

Hunh! Bade aye paise maangne wale.

9 – You divert their attention:

See, Polar Bear!

10 – You oil them:

Because oiling is the holy grain of pleasing someone and earning a riddance from repaying the loan FTW!

These are the Hilarious ways to treat friends – No matter how profound contempt we hold for our debtors, how nightmarish paying off the loan may seem, the day finally comes and we ready up such hilarious defences and find the escape route.

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Looking at the picture of the Bollywood celebs we are often left sleep eluded. We also want to look like them, don those edgy hairstyles but our Indian genes pull all the strings to hold us back from cutting the long tresses off. Then there are the sky rocketing demands of the plush salons whose some services are almost synonymous to a kidney’s worth. Also, one must not rule out the fact that the salons make huge fortune from the wig-makers by nudging us to trim our painstakingly grown hair some more. Like, you go for layers and come out with a pixie! Well then, here are some galactically hilarious examples of what happens when you enter the hairdresser’s and what becomes of you on coming out.

Lacerating at your pocket:

Well this one justifies what I have said before. No wonder why we grew up watching our middle class fathers visit those roadside pastoral counterparts ditching the opulent ones. No matter if you spot any difference, you’ve satisfactorily spent your money and most of your holiday in a parlour, that’s what matter to you.

They are gender biased:

I still don’t understand why a guy comes out from a hairdresser looking like a sparkling new wine bottle and the girls still look like the old self but come out with a hole in the pocket, why!

They have their own way:

A hairdresser has his own way. There is no arguing with them!

Then there are professional people too:

Yeh dunia hai na dunia, isme do tarha ke hairdresser hote hai, ek good aur ek bad. Now it depends which kind you meet. If your luck is good, you will come out looking like this!

You boost your own morale:

Statutory warning: always take your BFF along while hitting at the hairdresser’s because if anything goes wrong, she can at least give you false hopes. Else, be your own help.

Going to the hairdresser as a child:

Moms are know-it-alls!

Blame it on the humidity:

It is not always the hairdresser, its humidity too that has to be favourable for your good hair experience!

This happens when he has a good sense of humour:

In one hand, pray that your hairdresser doesn’t have a good sense of humour, in another, don’t be too suggestive when telling your preferences.

Do your own bangs:

Even if they look like moustache on the forehead, DO your own bangs FTW!

They are awesome too:

Conversely, you can’t things as right as they do so find a good hairstylist and maintain being Brad Pitt because the other option is wishy-washy.

These illustrations completely sum up all of our experience at the hairdresser’s.

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Kim Jong Un, the infamous North Korean Leader whose name rose in controversies for his indomitable wrath against America and brazen flexing of power in regard to it. Little did we knew, India has a fan base of Kim Jong Un who chose him as the ‘cult of personality’ whose picture, they thought has the merit to feature in their election campaigning posters. Here’s talking about Kerala CPM, a handful of communists who are apparently die-hard fans of Kim Jong Un for his ‘anti-imperialist’ stance.

It seems, Kerala CPM has found their new communist hero earning Che Guevara a breather. Hilarious as it comes, the have put up flex boards in Nedum Kandam town and Thanni Moodu in Idduki district placing the Korean autocrat’s photo next to their signature hammer and sickle logo.

The incident came into notice on Sunday leaving the CMP red-faced. It shamed the whole brand of CPM in India as the posters showed up with a picture of Kim Jong Un saluting the logo. The posters were made to announce a party gathering in the town.

There is an area committee conference slated to be held in the run-up to the quadrennial party Congress in Hyderabad around April next year.

The overly hilarious part was, the staple Marx-Lelin-Stalin Trio was missing from the posters and the Party’s district leadership was unrepentantly nonchalant about the bizarre replacement.

They however, furnished logic for backing their stance and we marvel at their limited world-view.

With little-to-no-remorse, they said, ‘Kim is the one and only communist leader who dare to challenge US President Donald Trump. He is a die-hard fighter against  American imperialism which has killed thousands while playing the role of the World’s cop. For us, that is the important thing; We do not consider other elements of Kim’s personality’.

Now that’s a serious blooper they made coming up with this announcement. The whole thing, however was mouthed by CPM District secretariat member PM Vijayan, as per the reports of The Times Of India

However, the district party office seemed to be singing in a different tune. They divulged to the Indian Express that they are downright embarrassed by whatever happened and that happened at the regional level as local workers had put the posters up without intimating them about it.

The posters were soon removed after they sparked quite the furore in the media after grabbing attention of some senior party members. The workers, who have gone to this length, are still outside the custody.

BJP’s Sambit Patra was the first politician who expressed his antagonizing views on the CPI(M) faux pas and hurled taunts on their rival party in Kerala. He said, he is smelling a rat that the CPI(M) might be plotting a missile launch at the RSS, BJP offices.

Kim Jong Un, who made North Korea a reclusive country where 11 musicians were killed allegedly for making a porn video contrary to which young girls are forcefully made to absorb into sex slavery, guards are given the immunity to drown a woman’s face in a bucket full of water whose baby’s wails angered them. Many of such incidents hint at the human subjugation, enforced starvation, rape, torture, slavery and violation of human rights by every which means under the realm of Kim Jong Un.

Looks like, Kerala Regional CPI(M) party workers need to get their head around the reality first then take some impulsive moves. Such laughing stocks they made of themselves, phew!

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Salman Khan is undisputed king of Bollywood. Everything he touches turn into gold.

It will be not wrong to say that Salman Khan is a very famous and big personality in Bollywood. His incessant block buster hits, his role as a god father to new budding stars, his other roles in industry are some proof of it.

Then to some people think that Salman Khan lack of things. Some still want him to look like some other star, have some qualities like other actor. So pondered over it and thought of creating Salman Khan on public demand. Let’s have a look how Salman Khan will look like when we bring all features from other actors in t him.

Salman Abraham Khan

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Social media sites – can’t ignore them, can’t live without them!

This is the digital era and being connected socially to what’s hot and happening and what is currently the ‘in-thing’ is highly critical and matters if you do not want to be called a social media ‘dud’!

Thanks to social media sites, your hunger for new, cutting-edge and viral content is satisfied with a slurry of quirky posts, write-ups, funny videos, informative blogs, DIY videos, spiritual stuff and what not!

If it is different, funny or interesting it is visible on social media websites around the world!

But then, some sites develop a hideous pattern of posting the same content over and over again in a new avatar. To be exact, there are more than a thousand social media websites that cater to different kinds  of audiences like Fb, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+, Tumblr, Flickr, Vine and Ask. Fm. India itself has more than 100 of them, but they didn’t really take off as well as the above mentioned ones did.

Let’s take some quips at some of our fellow social media website buddies and how are they using and misusing them…

Twitter 

Was supposed to be a Microblogging site!

But today, this website is like the ‘hue and cry’ centre of most celebs; national and international alike! Every profile you see will sport a funky name with lots of posts and retweets that mostly matter nothing to the world! For example, KRK’s tweets about actresses – who even cares?!

PM Modi’s tweets are not even written by him! A team handles all the posting! Twitter is nothing but a cry-centre for most people. Very few genuine posts appear on the site, but yes, breaking news always breaks first on this microblog always!

Facebook

A place where we could connect with people from far and wide and do some real social networking!

To be apt, Facebook now, or fb as we call it lovingly is like our ‘chuddy buddy’. We post cute pictures, selfies, poems, love statuses, heartbreak rants, hate messages, inspirational quotes, videos, recipes, details about every check-in to a place… even while boarding a flight at the ‘domestic’ airport!

What does a guy in America have to do with you flying from Delhi to Mumbai?! Just think about it… posting everything about your life on a website that is headquartered in a foreign country…. Feeling scared about privacy?

Google+

Don’t know why and what this is for!

Wait! Don’t laugh! You dare not smirk! Google+ is a social media website after all! People don’t visit it as much as the aforementioned culprits, but then, it entered the arena quite late…

Just like after Whatsapp everything else seems too cumbersome to install on your smartphone… Even then, Google+ holds on like the army of Sparta… We just hope it doesn’t die the death Orkut or Google Wave died…

Instagram 

Well, objective was to create a photo sharing platform! Some intresting and genuinely adorable photos to be precised!

Now, Instagram is like the daily log-book for people who love (irritating level of love) taking pictures… Posting every damn picture of your food, the menu, your shoes, your selfies, dogs, cats, insects, sofa, bed and what not! … Why not post a picture of yourself taking a poop! Ohh so you know where to draw the line.. do you? 😛

Well, other celebs mainly the ‘phorenmaal’ posts nude selfies and what not on Instagram just to rake in publicity…after all nowadays ‘skin’ sells. Just Google the ‘Free the Nipple campaign’ and get to know what kind of ruckus Instagram causes for deleting naked pictures of people.

LinkedIn

LinkedIn was for the business class, but it has been reduced to a mere ‘telephone directory’ like junction where people just visit to verify someone’s professional credentials and hiring people when consultancies give you zilch! :/

The new interface of the website was meant to do more, but somehow the website simply doesn’t cater to people’s love for posting mindless crap. After all, you cannot post your ‘cheesecake wala picture’on the website, your boss will give you a mouthful for being unprofessional! 😛

Oh yes, the viral pictures of Om Sai Baba and Emotional Photo Message Shares can be seen on LinkedIn too, these days of course! Save the business world!

Well, to be frank, these websites were made for many different purposes, it is we the humans who have taken control on how they should work. The Facebook ‘Like’ button matters to most people more than food!

This is a good thing and bad thing alike. The good thing is that the world is getting connected more socially each day, the bad thing? We share so much crap that privacy is non-existent and productivity in real life takes a toll.

After all, who remembers who you were dining with last year this day or which flight you took to God knows where and what squabble or break-up you had! 😛

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Narendra Modi won the General elections with an almost sweeping majority.

With an impressive PR campaign, he rose to power but has failed to deliver on his promises. This makes me wonder what would happen if Mr.

Narendra Modi was India’s Supreme Leader?

Would he fulfill all his whims and fancies without thought? Or would he put the people first? Read on to find out:

1. Gujarat would be India’s capital

And maybe all of India will have kick ass roads like Gujarat.

2. All non-vegetarian food would be banned

Where will we get all our protein from? 🙁

3. Say goodbye to Sunny Leone, Smriti Irani will be India’s household name.

A little less boobs on television would be a good thing, wouldn’t it? Or not 😛

4. India would be a dry state.

Just why? Ahhhhhh Why? Why?

5. Forget that skirt and that pair of jeans. Everyone will be rocking that khadi look.

It is not that bad I suppose! More breathable clothing for the summer heat!

Tell Us what you think would happen if Modi were to become the king of India, Would it change for the better or worse?

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The Commonwealth Games 2014 just got concluded in Glasgow, Scotland as England topped the medal table with India coming in at 5 in the medals tally. Even though there were some serious competiton on the field, there were some that saw the funny side of it! Well, here are some funny snap from the CWG that will tickle your funny bone. If you do not believe us, well have a look at these photos below:

Long jumper Jazmin Sawyers of England really knows how to go the distance!

Ooi Tze Liang of Malaysia has a funny way to dive in the pool!

Wonder if shot putter, Annie Alexander would love a selfie this way?

Here’s Powerlifter Wilford Vea. Surely a Metallica song playing in the background. Is it?

That’s one helluva pout from Joelle Mbumi Nkouindjin

Ok, this expression is what every Indian can relate to whilst on nature’s call

Woman powerlifter Michaela Breeze proves that ‘mard ko dard nahi hota’ fact is WRONG!

Shock laga, laga, shock laga!

And rugby is consisdered to be a ‘serious’ sport.

And finally shotputter Sophie McKinna does a ‘Brad Hogg’ during her throw

The Commonwealth Games have left a great mark on the fans as far as the game is concerned but the above snaps potray a ‘different’ level of sport. CWG might have been potrayed as a serious event but the above leave a funny feeling altogether!

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