Saying sorry – We are not discussing the time when you say sorry casually at some public place but the time when you are really hurt. You are hurt but still, you say sorry also because you think this a better option.
I believe you should reconsider all the options you have and think again of the possibilities and the ideologies behind saying sorry.
Why do you say it?
Just imagine you are in a very bad and violent relationship and at moments just to make peace, you say it. Or, you are in your professional space and you say it to secure your position because the other one is in a higher position and might have the power to make any twists in your job profile.
And, thus you who think saying sorry do not mean that you are a helpless person and you are not egoistic, you say it. Yeah! That’s true! But what about the inside of you that feels sorry when you say sorry for no reason at all. Slowly and steadily the feelings become worse because you are not listening to your inner self and just jotting down the outside world’s preferences. The thing is that there are much better ways than just saying sorry. If in a professional space, you think either you apologize or you lose something in one way or the other. Think the other way round and that is to communicate. Say what you have to say in front of your superiors and make them understand if not face to face then through the mail.
Putting your opinions is as important as doing any important work as it makes you valuable. According to me, apologizing is an escape plan and if you take the other way, you could move up to a sensible position anyhow. Plan your journey and do not include apologizes but only the communication and understandings thereafter.
Explain/ Express/ Repent/ Repair
Actions speak more than words and thus just by saying it, show that you actually mean it by not repeating your mistakes. If you do not think it as a mistake, at least come to a compromising position with the other one who has been hurt because of you. The only way to this is real face time and nothing could be better than that. There are science-based proven facts on how should you apologize and all of them first of all needs you to accept that there is something wrong which you have to figure out. Figure out of you are wrong or there is a misunderstanding or maybe a small conflict which became sour due to any reason. Here is the list of science-based ways of apologizing-
- You regret it, express it
- Explain what went wrong
- You were escaping from your responsibility, acknowledge that
- You are repenting, say it
- You did some loss, say that you will repair
- If nothing can be done, ask or request for forgiveness
Forgiveness comes at last when you have tried everything and nothing can be done. But, what we do nowadays is ask to forgive first and then think about other options or even do not think at all. The reason is only we are becoming less emotional about the feeling of others that we don’t understand what the other one go through because of us.
So, the point here is to not suffocate yourself by saying sorry if you yourself do not accept any wrong doing anyhow feel superior. There will two things that will happen afterwards- either the misunderstanding come out hilarious or you come at a position where both of the sides will take care of the same in future by understanding the things and not due to any burden or feel otherwise. Both of the scenarios will make the bond stronger and put respect prior to your ego.