Sex before and after the kids – Good sex life is the foundation of a happy and lasting marriage but once the honeymoon period is over, all things prosaic start to plague the married life and sex goes out of the window.
The situation goes to sparse with the arrival of children as life changes 180 degrees and we keep tussling and taffying with means to meet their basic needs thereby depriving us of our sleep, forget sex. Nothing is rose tinted anymore and the devil-may-care sexual endeavours boil down to discrete ones.
Whilst every couple are confronted with likely problems regarding sex after kids, artists have laid out some hilarious yet relatable illustrations about Sex before and after the kids:
Sex before and after the kids –
1 – You cut corners:
With a constantly wailing kid in tow, you have learned to fast forward the foreplay part. The child needs attention so you just resort to quickies. Sex, thereby becomes mundane and everything yawnish.
2 – You become more functional:
Getting rid of the wife’s bra was already a task for you but nursing bras are really one piece of work. You have to acquire mastery over it which made you more functional and irritated, sometimes.
3 – You don’t waste your time talking about the lingerie anymore, meh!
You face delayed and failed orgasms now because your mind is no longer in sex but the vaccination of the child and the diarrhoea virus, so you DISCUSS a lot instead on bed.
4 – You sneak out in secret places to escape their sight:
The naughty suckers are around so your life has come to the square one to the dating days when you made love secretly. If they caught you getting intimate, the bombarding questions you have to deal with otherwise.
5 – You are always alert during the act:
You are into each other but you are alert about the sleeping infant in the cradle more.
6 – Sex during pregnancy is moving mountains:
There will be bodily changes in the partner which you have to come to terms with. So, the mysterious lingerie stay put now and let alone different sex positions. You research a lot over the internet now about having sex during pregnancy and it sucks!
7 – The orgasm disruption ratio increases:
You will run out of your fingers to count how many failed orgasms you have had after the babies peeped into your room at the nick on time.
8 – Vaseline is no longer meant for what it used to be:
It is now used for jamming the door-knob to steer clear of the sneaky fellas while you have sex. There is a limit to failed orgasms man!
This is sex before and after the kids – Both the new parents and the seasoned, heartbroken, disappointed ones will relate to these illustrations we assume. Gone are the days of good sex, good food, good life, you are now sucked into responsibilities and sex has taken a backseat already. Duh!