Indian daily soaps serial and shows – For the past century we have been trying to know the trade secret as to how are these daily soaps made that they fetch such huge TRPs and keep running for years and years…
Oh God! Finally!!
Finally we know the secret recipe to an INDIAN DAILY SOAP.
Now we can create a completely illogical melodramatic show and earn millions out of it. ! Why only us, even you can go ahead and try your luck! We are being generous and sharing the BILLION DOLLAR RECIPE with you.
Oh that’s ok… No need to say thanks! After all, what are seniors meant for. Agar hum sahi raasta nahi dikhaayenge to kaun dikhaayega?
Come on now, let us understand this profound recipe to make a SUPER DUPER HIT HINDI TV SERIAL!!
1) Pick a melodious Hindi film song and scan it for the catchiest phrase. THAT, my friend, is the SUPER HIT TITLE for your daily Soap!
2) You need a dimwit body builder for the role of chocolaty hero and 3 ABSOLUTE BIMBOS for the role of SAAS, BAHU and VAMP! Well ok, one simple looking churidaar salwar kameez clad young lass too, for the role of hero’s love interest!
Plan the shoot now!
3) For a 10,000 episode serial you need to shoot 400 marriages, 100 Satya Narayan Ki Pooja, 5-10 Diwali / Eid / Holi / 15 Karwa Chauth, 10-12 Rakshabandhan and Bhai Dooj, 300 Birthday Parties and a few emotional scenes!
4 a) The Elderly males will wear embroidered kurta pyjama throughout the show (no need to buy more than 1 per person, just keep washing and dyeing for different colours). Younger males can wear the same, they also have a little privilege to wear a formal suit sometimes.
4 b) The woman clan will wear a 200kg sarees. They cannot wear anything else. It is not in our culture you see! Oh yes, 2 tons of jewellery and a truck load of cosmetics for each one is a must.
Duration of the Episode!
5) A 60 minute slots can be easily divided into 45 minutes of commercials (More sponsors, more money you see. Remember you are here for money and only money!), 5 minutes of bollywood song copy paste, 3 minutes of lame acting and dialogues and 7 minutes of repeating the same scenes in flashes! KYA? KYA?? KYA???
6) A big outdated bungalow, a temple and if it is a Muslim backdrop, then only a bungalow! You must religiously call it PUSHTAINI HAWELI !!
7) The characters can only be either Gujarati or Punjabi. And all of them have to be present at home all the time. Men don’t go to office. STRICTLY NO OFFICE!
8) Without an extra marital affair, kidnapping, and a second marriage, there can’t be a story. Make sure you have all of them in random sequence. Do not bother about the logics at all. Logics are for boring people.
9) There has to be a vamp and her sidekick man for scheming and plotting against the family.
The Feel Good Factor!
10) The heroine should be like a Goddess. A perfect housewife from Venus. No vices at all. She can replace DEVI MAA in your ghar ka mandir!
How To End Your Serial!
11) Go on and on and on and on and when you have made enough money or you are bored to death, just end it abruptly. There is no need to script an ending as the viewers don’t remember where the serial started from. Hence, a journey from Bombay to Goa can end at Nagaland.
See, it’s as easy as that! No fuss, no crux, ONLY MONEY!
Are you on it?