Are you having bad dreams?
I mean Sex Dreams!
Ok Alright! …Sex Dreams can never be bad dreams!
What I meant is, are you having strange sex dreams with strange people, you never had sex with?
Well, all sorts of absolutely unnerving things can happen in our dreams, but sex dreams about your friends, coworkers, and other folks who occupy a thoroughly unromantic place in your life can be among the most upsetting ones, right?
I mean, how could a nightmare about getting chased around by some monster with knives for hands compare to the true horror of dreaming that you and your best friend are covered in chocolate syrup and riding a sex swing together?
And then we think, what does a sex dream about a real person (who’s not your real partner) mean?
Does it mean that you fancy them in bed in real life too?
Thankfully, it does not!
Sex dreams do not necessarily have any correlation to real-world sexual desire. Sure, we may have the occasional wish-fulfilment sex dream about someone we’re genuinely attracted to, like a rock star or a notably attractive film actor; but sex dreams don’t typically mean that you harbour a secret lust for your dream partner’s body. More often, sex dreams are about the desire to integrate a certain aspect of another person’s personality into ourselves — say, a friend’s compassion, a boss’s poise, or a coworker’s excellent PPT skills.
So there’s no reason to worry that your relationship is on the rocks, just because you were having a night of passion with your colleague, while you were asleep in your boyfriend’s arms!
Here are five of the most common people you’ll have a dream-sex with in your life, what dreaming about them might mean, and why you totally should not freak out about seeing them butt naked in your dreams!
5 Sex Dreams Decoded for You:
1. Sex With A Friend
Sex dreams about friends are a horror that plague almost all of us, but they’re seriously nothing to worry about. Dreaming about having sex with a friend can actually be a reflection of the level of friendship and closeness that you feel for that friend. It can also mean that this person has a trait you’d like to make a part of yourself (I mean, of course they have tons of awesome qualities, that’s why they’re you’re friend, right?). So don’t sweat friend-sex dreams, but also, don’t be the weirdo who tells your friend about it. That is literally something that you should never discuss with them over brunch.
2. Sex With Your Boss Or Coworker
Some experts say that boss sex dreams are the most common form of sex dream; but you don’t need an expert to tell you that they’re certainly among the most annoying. There you are, riding the passion of the person who signs your time sheets, and you’re supposed to just go to work the next day like it never happened? Fret not! Sex dreams about your boss have to do with your own leadership qualities, not a desire to fondle your boss’s …mm you know what! They typically mean either that you see those leadership abilities, developing in yourself, or that you’d like to cultivate them further. The same generally applies to sex dreams about coworkers who aren’t also friends. Maybe you’re in the middle of getting psyched to start taking your career more seriously, or are beginning to push yourself to go after your professional goals. You’re feeling more empowered, and in charge of things. No matter how you take it, it shouldn’t make you feel all shy and blushing over the copier machine the next day (even if your boss did a really weird sex move in your dream with a cheesy dip bottle).
3. Sex With Your Secret Crush
Though it’s hard to dismiss a sex dream about a crush as totally non-sexual, there can be a non-sexual element to it, too. You may be having the dream because your crush has a personal quality that you wish you had. Honestly, aren’t half the crushes out there about your crush object having some cool quality that you’d secretly like to possess yourself (the other half is about cool shoes)?
4. Sex With Your Ex
Ugh, this one!! The fact that you can still have sex dreams about an ex that you loathe is one of the least fair things about a break-up — but when you have a sex dream about an ex, your brain isn’t really focusing on that ex as a person. Rather, your mind distils your ex to a single trait — a personality trait that played a prominent role in your relationship — and is pointing you to its presence in your current life. There is a trait that your ex possessed and that is now either becoming visible in you or your current partner. Which could also lead to the same disaster you and your ex landed in. An ex-sex-dream is always a good moment to stop and take a good note, and make sure things are going the way that you’d like them to, in your current relationship.
5. Sex With A Stranger
Who was that mysterious stranger? You know, the one who was just whamming you? When a phantom sex partner shows up in your dreams, don’t get alarmed — it may just mean that you feel uncertain about the near future. More positively, the sexy stranger may represent aspects of yourself that you’re interested in exploring — like mysteriously appearing in the dreams of strangers and then having sex with them! (Hey… Really?)
Well, well, whatever sex dreams you may be having, be happy that you are having them!
Which means: The grounds are fertile and full of fun!
So chill, and do not get too worked up about sex dreams, they are nothing but.