Cover Yourself Up! Says BaBa Ramdev!

Z-security To Baba Ramdev – The recent development of Ramdev Baba getting Z-Security cover has sent everyone applying for extra security.

In a surprise (??) ruling by the Union Home Ministry of the #Modi Government, the self styled Yoga Guru, BaBa Ramdev, has been provided with a Z-Security across India.

That means the Baba will not have to run around wearing sarees trying to escape from being hurt (read arrested) anymore.

If you remember, BaBa Ramdev had campaigned extensively for BJP during the LS elections and winked at everybody while doing that 😉 So, Payback Time 😛

So now the Baba would be moving around with 20-22 CRPF personnel, probably all dressed in saffron clothes with assault rifles painted as Leo toys guns so that his bhakts are not scared away.

The reasons cited for this, as usual, are assassination threats received by the Guru, though it’s still a National secret as to who would want to assassinate a simple, down to earth person, with no political inclinations, no moh-maya, no self gain interests, who does good for everyone by teaching them how to move their tummy around in circles (Oh yeah, it’s amazing the way he does it, isn’t it?). Why would someone want to assassinate such a decent selfless person?

That said, a lot of people have immediately applied for Z security with the new Government of India. Most of these applications are being seriously considered by the Union Ministry.

Rohit Sharma has applied for the security to be saved from being mobbed by fans and stripping ex-girlfriends.

Farah Khan and Sajid Khan have gone ahead and applied for security cover too, they are both individually planning to release their new movies soon and are naturally worried about attempts which might be made on their life.

The Association of People Sleeping on the Pavement have also moved the Center for Z security because Salman Khan is still out driving his car 😛

Kamaal R Khan KRK has also asked for a security cover because apparently he has pissed so many people off. The Government has offered him a blanket instead asking him to cover his ugly mug when in public 😉

Though, one of the first ones was Rakhi Sawant who claims that her character is assassinated every now and then by the “peepal” and has asked for a security cover for her character. O Jijus!

In a funny twist the Haryana Godman Rampal Maharaj has also applied for security under the special “GodMan Quota” but the Government has denied the application stating that he is already well protected by the SWAT team which is outside his aashram pretending to arrest him 😉 (sorry arrested…)

Being a proactive Government, they have, also, offered cover for Deepika Padukone asking her to cover up her Cleavage to prevent further controversies.

They are also contemplating giving cover to a number of actresses, Sunny Leone, Poonam Pandey and Sofia Hayat are on the list of actresses who will be given cover ……under the new security scheme launched, which goes by the name of “Prime Minister Cover Yourself Up Yojana”. Of course the Human Rights Activists have already appealed against this particular scheme, but I feel the intentions for doing that are different. Who would want these hotties to cover themselves, right?

Disclaimer: I am also going to apply for Z security, with the traffic situation in Mumbai gone to hell, I feel that every vehicle coming towards me is an assassination attempt.

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