There are some situations in life we land into inadvertently.
No matter how much do we try to avoid them, they grip us like a maniac and we start to look for a way out desperately.
For straight women, being in a relationship with a bisexual guy can be one such tricky situation.
You meet a cute guy in at a party and start talking and really hitting it off! You start going on dates and you’re having a good time, but in the midst of pillow talk, he tells you that he’s bisexual! And the hell breaks loose for you!
Well, on the literal terms, if you search for a meaning for a BISEXUAL in an urban dictionary, it would say, “Bisexual is a person who has the ability to reach down someone’s pants and be satisfied with whatever is there!” Yes, that is!
In a more meaningful way, a bisexual person is the one who can get sexually attracted to both men and women with equal intensity.
Therefore, if you have gotten into a relationship with a bi-guy, knowingly or unknowingly chances are, your beau may be willing to hookup with a cute guy at some party, you have to deal with this tricky situation, if you are already deep into the relationship and do not want to lose him.
Here’s how you act when you have identified that you are in a relationship with bisexual guy!
- Don’t Hold Any Preconceived Notions
First of all, understand that after being in a relationship with a bisexual and identifying as one, make sure you throw all preconceived notions of what it means to be bisexual, out of the window. Your guy might define it differently than you, and you don’t want your own biases to hinder what he’s trying to tell you. In addition, his level and depth of attraction to both sexes could differ greatly, so it’s important not to make any assumptions about it! Being bisexual, says nothing about a person’s promiscuity. Unfortunately, our culture sometimes associates bisexuality with being heavily sexual or unable to be monogamous, which is of course not the case. It’s a common misconception, and it’s an important one to think about!
- Be Respectful And Open To Discuss Things
With all the awkwardness in place, you may feel a little weird about talking to him about his preferences, after all it remains a very personal thing. And on top of it, you wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. Yet, talking openly would help to unknot a lot of complications. Be ready to talk, be friends with him. Take it slow and keep a conversation to the levels, more comfortable to him. Before you talk, make sure you are both aware that you are having a serious conversation about sexual orientation and your relationship status, and make sure that it’s at an appropriate time. Trying to discuss your boyfriend’s bisexuality while intoxicated at a loud party won’t exactly be a rocking idea. Make sure you are both ready and present to talk about sexuality, comfort and boundaries.
- Do Not Ask Questions He Is Relutant To Answer
You know that your levels of forthrightness are just appropriate for you, but for him they might not be. Do not ask questions that make him uncomfortable. Like asking him directly, “are you sure you are a bisexual?”. This type of interrogative questioning is a strict no no, if you love your guy and want to be with him. It could also come across as insulting and might put him off the conversation altogether. Sexual orientation is already a sensitive subject, and questioning a part of your boyfriend’s identity can feel really come across as huge damper!
- Keep The Comunication And Compassion Channel Open
The biggest rule of dating someone who is bisexual is also just a general rule of relationships: keep a clear and honest line of communication with reasonable doses of compassion mixed with love. If you choose to date someone that is bisexual, and are willing to take the relationship forward without anyone of you losing the interest, make your partner feel loved and cared for, irrespective of his orientation and his “other activities” that he might be indulging into, off an on.
- Be Ready For The Questions People Ask YOU
You would have to go through strange experiences like people asking you questions about your orientation and your partner’s orientation, if it is known to all. When your friends would notice your boyfriend talking with other guys, they would give you funny gestures too. It may get tiring hearing your friends constantly ask about your relationship, but don’t let it get to you. The only thing that matters is if you and your boyfriend are in a happy and healthy relationship! And that’s it!
- Respect His Me Time
Whenever he asks for the little “me time”, which of course you would understand, why; you would have to give up on your insecurities. One challenge of dating a bisexual guy versus a heterosexual guy is being cognizant of whom he’s gone out with. Being a girl yourself, you may feel jealous and insecure if he is out with a girl, but trust me, the diffidence will lighten down on its own, if it’s a guy he is going out with.
Well, all said and done, many college goers might still be unsure of what it’s like to date someone who is attracted to both guys and girls. However, many women who have dated bisexual guys in college note that this is not really an issue as long as communication, openness, love, friendship and compassion remains the priority.