Clubbing – Come Saturday night and you have already been paraded with plans to go clubbing.
The party bummers will leap at the first chance to hop around happening clubs but the couch potatoes will snuggle up in their sofa and prefer to binge watch Netflix with a tub of popcorn.
So, if you too like to live in your comfort bubble and hate socializing yet can’t refuse your friends, here are 15 things you can completely relate to if you hate clubbing:
1. You hate to tag along with a bunch of people who are way too nosey for your taste:
You are happy in your personal space and never bored as you are too happy with yourself. These people just don’t get the idea. Damn!
2. You only know Naagin dance and people want you to pull off MJ:
That’s not fair guys. I am a bad dancer but good TV watcher.
3. You have to deal with love-struck puppies at the dance floor:
They just seek a single opportunity to brush against your bod. So done with them duh!
4. You can’t even utter a single sentence without screaming in their ear, forget striking a conversation:
Music bajega loud toh aunty police bulalegi!
5. Those overpriced drinks are not worth your while:
Bloody tasteless rots. I would rather drink Rooh Afza back home.
6. Washrooms reek of alcohol and puke:
That I didn’t sign up for. Nooo!
7. Washrooms have ques:
Like the ration shops do.
8. You spend half the night phoning the over-zealous friend of yours to track her down:
She is just around hooking up with a guy but it takes forever to spot her, meanwhile half the night has gone by.
9. Alcohol and sweat smells ftw!
The imperious stench of alcohol and sweat makes you meh!
10. You spend a lot of time dealing with drunken people fighting:
And you feel like a referee in the boxing pit.
11. Those awful strobe lights are the biggest turn off for you:
Only if one could wear sunglasses to clubs.
12. Dude those are bouncers or Gorillas:
How they come up with those meaty bodies quashing attitude. Are they real?
13. Creeps alert:
You have to deal with creeps peeping at your twins every now and then. Some making unsolicited advances some offering you a drink and some just over the top enthusiastic about asking you out.
14. You don’t register that music but still have to dance to it:
The music that’s being played on the popular demand just gets on your nerves.
15. Recipe for a club:
Take an average bar, add some incomprehensibly garish and loud music, turn on the strobe lights and voila! Club for you.
Is clubbing Relatable much?