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Mumbai local: How to survive the ladies’ compartment

On a busy workday, we tell you how to switch trains in Mumbai without having your heart ripped out!

Surviving in Mumbai is no simple task and being able to commute by the ladies’ compartment without having your heart ripped out requires an amazing set of skills. On a busy workday, we tell you how to be a pro when switching trains in Mumbai!

Carry bags like you’d strap up a baby:
Yes! If you want to travel in peace and not pieces, make sure your handbag/laptop bag is straddled in front and not by your side. This position will also give you more space and you can easily squeeze in and out as the crowd keeps growing. This way, nobody would shove you around mercilessly! Trust us when we say this. Women are the least ‘adjusting’; hence follow these rules to the T. In fact, when you’re platform-hopping, the ‘bag-in-front’ approach will ward off potential-molesters!

No hair bare:

If you leave your hair open, you’d be mauled by the ladies as they’d keep complaining to you about how your strands are in their mouth, on their face and so on. Even if you have tied-up your hair in a tight ponytail, take the bunch to either of your sides to avoid being irritated by mean ladies.

Station-wise:
If you’re travelling on the Harbour line and take the CST-bound train to Kurla and are getting in at Vashi, DO NOT stand at the footboard. There are people boarding from Govandi and Chembur who will spit fire if you don’t move away from the entrance. Simple rule, if your station is not for the next ten minute, don’t block the way for others. Show some courtesy and you’re bound to reach your destination safely.

Warring ladies:
Give the warring ladies a break. If they are shouting, screaming and being a total nuisance, don’t stoop down to their level. Just ignore them and pretend like you’re not even listening to their rants. Nothing pisses off the screamer more than being put off by the other person. Give this strategy a shot, it’s your sure shot way of surviving the madness of a ladies’ local. Women are bitchier and more insecure; hence they are prone to attack you with all guns blazing. Once you don’t pay any attention at all, they’ll automatically shut up.

Running for the seats:
If you’re going to be travelling long distance, it’s better to take the starting train as there would be less ‘running to grab the seats’ involved. But if you do have to take the train from somewhere in the middle, make sure you don’t run with crowds. Wait for the herd to get in, so that your clothes don’t get torn, your shoes don’t wacked and you’re in one piece!

Phones at bay:
It would be better to keep your phones at bay. Texting/calling bang in the middle of the compartment will only make you more prone to shoving. When ladies see you’re busy ‘working’ other than getting out of the way, the will shower you with the choicest ‘gaalis’. You don’t want to start off your day with bad words, do you?

 

 

 

 

 

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