So what is your complaint after you come back from a holiday?
You must be having an exhaustive list of tantrums to through while on a holiday, right?
Just to make the life of your travel agent or your holiday provider a living hell, you wouldn’t leave any stone unturned!
Yes, some people do that, and this is how they do it!
According to a recent story, these are genuine complaints, hilarious complaints, made by holidaymakers to a popular international holiday organiser.
These are utterly pointless and obnoxiously hilarious at the same time! Read on!
1. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”
Ummmm really?? Ma’am, you should take your husband to a beach where only naked fishes sunbathe!
2. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”
Oh well, then you should stick to vacationing in Somalia! You won’t be served anything there, forget curries!
3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”
Last time I was on a holiday to Japan, I hired a Japanese translator! But he was no help! He knew only Japanese! How disgusting!
4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”
Hell yeah! Do we ever take our chairs and tables to a restaurant? They are always included in the price, right?
5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”
Thank goodness the beach was not shitty! I can not even begin to imagine the room after that!
6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white, but it was more yellow.”
Errrr, well sir, we are extremely sorry, next time we will make sure we wash the beach sand in a good detergent too, just like our brochures!
7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”
Oh yes, it should be! Walking in sleep is injurious to health!
8. “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”
We are sorry! We forgot to put 10 Million+ Noticeboards around 10 Million+ beaches around the world saying that “There are fishes in the water, beware!”
9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”
There were no eggs in the fridge too! Right?
10. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
Ma’am next time, we will make sure we take your bakery recipes from you and send across to all the local convenience stores before you arrive at a destination!
11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”
Oh well, next time we will include an extra reading time in your hotel room stay! Make good use of that please!
12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”
Racists, bloody racists everywhere!!
13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”
Yes, technically, logically and intelligently so, 1 Bedroom will always be smaller than 3 Bedrooms put together!
14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”
The resort people have a long story against hairdressers! They hate all the hairdressers! They are actually planning a long revenge against the hairdressers of the world! They just hate….. THE HAIRDRESSERS!
15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”
Well, you should try visiting Uganda! Nobody speaks Spanish over there! No Spanish people either! We promise!
16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”
Oh well, we have applied for an electricity connection to the “OUT SIDE”! We hope next time will be better for you!
17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
But how can we advise YOU against YOU?
18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”
We believe in charity! Mosquitoes deserve a vacation too, without being disturbed!
19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
You missed the caution message written on the brochure ma’am! We mentioned very clearly “Use Safety Measures, wherever applicable”
Well, well, well, life would be so boring without a holiday complaint maker!
Bring me some more!