Chill girl – The modern dating trend has taken a leap, or should I say a paradigm shift from what it used to be in the time of Raj Kapoor and Nargis where lovers were for keeps and love was transcendental.

Well, there was a reason at play behind it, men shied away from baring their heart before the lady love for the stringent and regulating societal norms.

Today’s society, young lovers that is to say, adhere to a dating trend that is a hybrid of Indian and western.

Now cease your hammy wailing that your previous boyfriend called you too clingy, or too demanding. It is not you, darling, it is what he has made of you.

Today’s men want a girl who will be a walking-talking encyclopaedia, smart to spark up a discussion, dresses well, gives him space and respects her own, is an arm-candy, reads and thinks, drinks and smokes to begin with. But halfway through the relationship they start feeling you are too friendly, too relaxed as jealousy is the sign of ‘love’, too easy-going, too accepting and what not. They will never realize that being all that hints at your mental maturity that you have gained through your experiences.

You have learned the hard way that self-love is mandatory for human existence or letting go of something that doesn’t grow you earns you mental peace.  Also, you believe that something that you have lost has actually set you free.

Men will never accept this elemental truth that maturity prompts you to become a chill girl and they will never perpetuate the relationship if you continue to be one. That’s hypocritical but we had to drop this ruthless truth bomb. With the course of time, they become possessive, try to mould you into the women they have grown up watching and when you succumb to their will, helplessly in love, they call you clingy and demanding because they start missing the chill girl quotient in you all over again.

Then you are left in a quandary, hating your chill-ness because you tried shaping your life around him and he made you confused about yourself. Your desirability factor has sudden hit a low in his eyes and that’s that. Then you gasp for breath, not understanding what to do, trying to regain the lost power, the old you that you have treaded for his love.

After this emotional whirlwind passes, you roll in your insecure leftovers. So, don’t be led astray girl, ‘chill-girl’s don’t exists.

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