An Open Letter to Times Of India: Cleavage Coverage Only? Give Us More Please!

Since Times of India has recently come up a cleavage exclusive of Deepika Padukone, it got me thinking about what other meaningful news they can cover.

A leading Indian daily “Times of India” has just come out with a Ground Breaking Discovery.

DEEPIKA PADUKONE has a cleavage!!!

OMG!!!! Isn’t that fascinating?

One would have never come to know about this, had this superior news agency not given this issue such extensive coverage.

So, thanks to this leading NEWS (well supposedly) AGENCY of the nation, “TOI”, we now know one of the greatest secrets ever kept in our country.

The entire nation of India is eternally grateful towards to them for showing this cleavage and telling us that SHE HAS ONE!

I am sure there are many such meaningful and informative news that they can come up with to elevate their overall cleavage …… ooops coverage.

I guess the nation wants some more DEBATABLE SUBJECTS to be covered by TOI. And I am so generous to suggest them too. So I decided to write this OPEN LETTER to them, suggesting these SENSIBLE TOPICS.

Dear TOI,

Here are some of the headlines, which the nationwide readership of TOI, eagerly awaits, please be benevolent and bring us the light on these hidden matters. Nation wants to know that:

1. Tushar Kapoor is not really dumb:
After seeing the various parts of Golmaal and the choice of movies that he makes, we would have actually never guessed this one. TOI must bring a complete story on this.

2. Hritik Roshan has an extra thumb:
WHATTT!!! So it’s an actual finger? It’s not as if a sore thumb? Or a finger extension or something? Oh please, TOI give us the entire details with some sensational pictures of his thumb.

3. Poonam Pandey is never going to strip for the Indian Cricket Team:
Damn it!! And here we were waiting for her to strip since 2011 or so. *sigh* this is going to be a disappointment. TOI, can we have some “cleavage” pictures of her as the consolation?

4. Kamal R Khan is not an alien:
You have got to be kidding me!! Watch him in Deshdrohi (if you dare) and then look at Jaadu in Koi Mil Gaya. Do you see any difference at all? Of course, Jaadu was smarter 😉 And perhaps better looking too: P Any which ways we want TOI’s perspective on this. We abide by THEIR word.

5. Salman Khan waxes his chest:
We could have never guessed that, could we? I mean, how on the earth can we even figure this one out. We have never seen him without a shirt, have we? Please tell us TOI, does he, or does he not!

6. Rakhi Sawant is not a Superstar:
With the amount of time she spends in the media glare, we would have never got this one, by ourselves. We need TOI to rescue us form this dilemma and enlighten us with some REAL INFORMATION.

7. Sonam Kapoor is a female:
Well okay, this one is a wee bit below the belt, but seriously?? 😛 Thank you so much in advance TOI if at all you can bring us a Xerox of her birth certificate, confirming the same, or a SHOCKING IMAGE of her…

After all since we started with speaking about cleavage, the last one was just made to close the topic 😉 If you start with cleavage and you end up with…….. yeah, you guessed it right!

I am sure with such absolutely delightfully informative news being covered by TOI, they will continue to remain as the top daily of India. They might even get some Hindi (and other regional language) readership now. After all, who doesn’t like to see cleavage in their morning papers? 🙂

Btw, if you are wondering, why I haven’t mentioned anything about Sunny Leone in this …..

Come on!!

Is there anything, at all, about Sunny Leone that TOI can make a sensational news about?

Done it all, seen it all, cleavage or no cleavage: P

Disclaimer: Personally, I would like to see a CT scan of the Editor of TOI to confirm that…… HE HAS BRAINS!! What??? Really??? 😉

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