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LOL: 5 Relationship Experts You Want To Punch In The Face

Have you observed that everybody has an opinion on your love life? From your first cousin’s second husband’s third kid’s best friend to your chaddi buddy, every person is a goddamn relationship expert.

Have you observed that everybody has an opinion on your love life? From your first cousin’s second husband’s third kid’s best friend to your chaddi buddy, every person is a goddamn relationship expert. Whether they have had any real relationships at all is simply not important here. We tell you five such people you will find, who will have something or the other to tell you.

Your best friend:
Even if your partner is one of the sweetest and kindest people on earth, your best friend will have an opinion on him/her. It goes with the territory, you know. Your chaddi chum will dislike your partner’s new phone, haircut, dog and even gorgeously made-up hair. And, heaven forbid, if he/she ever hurt you, your best friend will hang him/her to dry. Aren’t you constantly getting ’tips’ on making your relationship last longer (or is it shorter?!) from this friend who hasn’t had a steady date in eight years? Sigh. We hear you, bro. We have all been there.

Your work buddy:
When he/she is winking at you with the passion of a six-year-old on Christmas day, it’s only because he has some ‘gems’ of relationship advice to give you. Even though he/she is a certified date-repellent, he/she has ‘101 ways to get a date’ handy. He/she could be shoving it in your face, even as you read this article. Isn’t it? If he/she ever suggests to hang out post-work to talk about love and live, run the hell away. Really, just run.

Your sibling:
Older or younger, this breed takes it upon itself to lecture on your love life. If the sibling happens to be older and slightly smarter, you’re doomed. They will tell you the dos and don’ts of affairs, sex and offer an opinion on your partner even if you’ve had just a casual date. And the younger sibling will be into social media and other ‘spying’ stuff to help ‘protect’ your feelings. Bah. How many times have you heard your siblings go, ‘I am telling you, sis…he is just a jerk’ without even meeting him once? Siblings are such hoots, eh?

Your salon lady:
If you’re a woman, you probably get this a lot. Show up at a salon with even a slight worry on your face and the beautician will have hundreds of solutions for your broken heart. Even if you’re not heartbroken and upset about a totally different matter, the lady will act as the agony aunt of the 21st century. Yes, we know…that’s when you punch her in the face and get jailed. But what about your fellow jail-mate…hmm…does she have an opinion too? *wink wink*

Columnists:
This is the kind we want slap hard in the face. Like, really hard. Because their columns are so screwed up and irrational that we end up believing half of it. We even take them seriously and start observing our partners. Uff.

Despite all this punching in the face, what you should realise is that these people care for you…may be more so than anybody else.

Ah, yes, even the columnists!

 

Article Categories:
Humour

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