This fancy new term, conscious uncoupling, has become the hottest term in the relationship sphere, thanks to Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin’s high-profile break up.
This fancy new term, conscious uncoupling, has become the hottest term in the relationship sphere, thanks to Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay frontman Chris Martin’s high-profile break up. So, what exactly does this phrase mean? Well, it’s just a nicer way of saying that you can’t stand your partner and would rather shoot him in the face, but are gracious and amicable about the split.
Jokes apart, what it really means is to detangle one from a relationship without messing up the whole process. We know how ugly and cruel divorces and break-ups can be.
By ‘consciously uncoupling, you’re going your separate ways in a dignified manner. How does one do that? Well, we have drummed up five ways you can consciously uncouple…read one.
Think of the parties involved:
It’s a good idea to part ways without any grudges as your children/family/friends could get entangled in a messy break-up or divorce. They would be forced to take sides or expected to stand up for one while belittling the other. This could really have a terrible effect on everybody involved. You have to discuss with your partner that even though you two have decided to call it quits, others who are close to you need not pick sides. Being with the two of you, in the same room, need not be a herculean task. Hence, sit them down and explain the situation to them. This is even more important when children are involved. They should never have to see the uglier side of divorces, so having a long discussion with your ex about this is necessary.
Hear each other out:
Throughout your marriage or relationship, you might have never really heard each other out. It could be due to your rushed lifestyles or because you guys drew apart without ever realising it. But if you wish to end everything on good terms, hear each other out. Find out what went wrong with the two of you, not with the intention of correcting it and getting back together, but learning from that mistake to move on in life. Don’t forget that your ex was an important part of your life for a long time, the least you can do is listen to what they have to say. This way, at least one of you’d get closure.
Breaking the news in person:
For better or for worse, he/she has seen you through everything and at some point, was your world. So, it’s important to break the news of your break-up in person to him/her. Since you wish to leave things on an amicable note, you have to have a talk face-to-face rather than over the phone or mails.
Emotions in check:
So, it didn’t work out…but that doesn’t mean that your ex is a villain. He/she isn’t right for you, that’s all. If you keep your emotions in check while you’re splitting, you can be sure that the two of you would have uncoupled without any bitterness.
Be a good parent:
Don’t let your anger come in the way of handling your kids. Don’t forget that your higher cause here is to protect, nourish and care for your children. They are your priority. If you and ex want to be able to stand in the room without killing each other, you have to be great parents. Because let’s not forget, it’s the kids who have the worst time during such tough times.
Even if you’re unable to be as gracious in break-up as the Hollywood couple that’s making waves, you can at least try to part on a decent note. At least, for all those who are close to you.