Grow big with your dream as thinking big? It is the gesture of a desire to find success. Achieving success or being successful is not easy as one has to chase their dreams to climb the ladder of success. It is a fact that anyone can easily be traced out. When a person is worried about his dreams their intention is to crawl the peak of success. Dreaming can be for different purposes and reasons. Sometimes it forces me to think twice and sometimes it makes a person happy and worry-free.

Thinking Big? You may suffer from anxiety

There are certain points in life when it becomes necessary to think big for success. Thinking big sometimes causes anxieties which leads to unworthy dreams. Such dreams show the worst and intensity of the desire to move toward achieving the goals in life. The main reasons for anxiety are the thought and assumptions of failing in life. Reaching the target is not possible until a person experiences the failures and obstacles in life. 

The bad thoughts and insecurities that surround the minds throughout the day’s activities evaluate as bad and worrisome dreams at the end of the day. There are many problems and risk factors in life to find success in life. This is the main reason if you are thinking big then it is essential to be ready to face the upcoming and unknown problems in life. 

Unrealistic or real dreams are a sign of mental health

A person may find the dream real or unreal but in both situations, it shows the position of mental health. When a mind is happy it will never like to experience the dreams as it has a peaceful sleep. An excited or disturbed mind will have the version of realistic and unrealistic dreams. 

Thoughts have no limits, one person can think to any far extent. But for ambitions and targets, it is always possible that the dreams are realistic or a warning to few facts that may cause problems. The clauses and obstacles may be inside your mind for the entire journey. You may be overthinking which shows through the different slots of dreams or thoughts inside the mind. 

Anxiety and bad thoughts about unsuccessful positions that one has already gone through will have to face again while executing their work. Ambitions and thoughts should be high and if someone is thinking big there is nothing bad unless they can inspire their mind to be positive. 

Bad dreams can be worrisome but it is always essential to accept the failures or the negatives to develop a stronger mindset. A positive attitude towards life will always build a stronger mentality to reduce anxiety. The dreams that were chasing you with grips of worries will now have stable and open-minded feelings. 

Perhaps, there are worrisome thoughts, do not feel disheartened of thinking big. It is essential to find the ways that may be difficult but will slowly ensure to help with the gestures of paths to reach the target goal or success. 

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When you’re 80 years old and facing the end of your long life, a life, hopefully well-lived, what can be the biggest factor that would decide whether you had a flourishing life or not?

Is it money?

Is it a good body?

Is it your corporate status?

Is it a big house?

Not really, right?

The probability of a happy life can be boiled down to this: the quality of your relationships!

With so much at stake regarding relationships, it’s worth considering a few common ways we ourselves hijack the very thing we need the most.  This is more important for people who identify themselves as relationship failures, but fail to identify the reasons. Be it the relationship with a spouse, a lover, with friends, with coworkers or with their domestic help for that matter! When you start to fail as a person involved in those associations, you need to know and acknowledge the reasons those are working behind it.

Here are the major factors that work behind the scenes and push us towards disaster while we are in different relationships. They all lie with us only. No outer force is working to bring failure to us. And the bright side is, we can work on them and correct them, if at all we need to flip the sides.

You Think Your Happiness Is Dependent on Someone Else (Wrong Expectations)

We often think that if we can change another person’s response to us or how they relate to us, then we will be happier or more fulfilled. We say, “If you will change your behaviour or condition, then as I observe it, I will feel better.” In other words, we give others the responsibility for how we feel. You are only responsible for you. The road to better relationships always starts with you. Rather than attempt to control another person, work on becoming a better version of yourself. Healthier relationships will then come to you as a result.  You either don’t know or don’t accept who you really are and look for external validation.

When We Are Unhappy With Ourselves, We Look To Others To Fill In The Gaps Of Insecurities (Low Self Esteem)

When I was 20, I craved people telling me how smart I was. I needed people to respect me and find me interesting. Popularity was a measure of worth, even if fabricated, that I could use to validate what I needed to believe about myself. With a very shaky sense of who I really was, I would grab on to any low-hanging fruit that would give me a semblance of an identity. For a 20-year-old launching out of adolescence, this is completely normal. But unfortunately, some of us never outgrow this need for validation. We spend decades looking for others to tell us who we are or what we’re good at. We did it at 13. We still do it at 30 and continue the same at 40. With social media norms flooding our senses, VALIDATION is the call of the day!

Instead of spending time figuring out who we are, our preferences, interests and hard-wired personality, we mould ourselves into a distorted version of who we truly are. We change ourselves because we think that our chances for love and acceptance will be greater, if we become what people want us to become.

We Judge: Ourselves and Others  (Conflicts of Personalities)

Be you. Be powerful and opinionated about the ideas you’re passionate about. Be vulnerable with people you trust. Express emotions. Be lighthearted and naive, ask questions about topics you don’t understand. And don’t apologize for your values. They are your guides.

But, don’t judge self and others!

You judge yourself, which leads to hyper-judgment toward others. What you judge most harshly in others is what you judge most harshly in yourself.

Who do you criticize? Your husband? Boss? Mother?

What behaviour do you criticise them for or what you judge in others? Vanity? Short-sightedness? Lack of self-respect?

How you answer these questions reveals a lot about how you regard yourself. It’s important to know that criticism and judgment come from the same source: shame.

Shame turned inward is self-criticism; turned outward it sits as a self-righteous judge of others. Judging others puts you in a one-up position with the illusory promise of power.

We say, “Look at what an impatient mother you are as you yell at your kids,” when we’re really saying to ourselves, “I find my own impatience intolerable. I’m such a terrible mother if I feel or act that way.” Judgment keeps us in a place of disconnection. We cannot be authentically connected to others when we hold them at arm’s length with our daggers of judgment.

Do you get the point here?

You Allow Others To Treat You With Disrespect (Lack of Self-respect) 

One of my favourite sayings is, “We teach others how to treat us.”

You are in control of how others treat you. You decide what you will and won’t allow into your life. You are not a victim, but a co-creator with others in how your story plays out. When you allow others to abuse, demean or disrespect you, you become partners with them in your own destruction.

And the best antidote to dealing with disrespect is to create and maintain boundaries. Boundaries serve as the force field of self-respect that buffers you from the people that don’t have your best interests in mind. Boundaries nudge you toward walking away when someone’s being an ass. They embolden you to firmly stand up for your values. They protect you when your personal worth is being challenged.

Want a path to a life well-lived? Take time to nurture and savour your closest relationships. The relationships that make you a better version of yourself each day.

Famously said by a pioneer in positive psychology, “Happiness is love and respect. Full stop.” 

Give and receive! 

And that’s what it is!

Happy relationships to you!

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