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Statutory Warning: Excessive Censoring May Lead To No Movies At All

Excessive censorship in bollywood – With the Censor Board of Films getting hyperactive, we will soon be seeing many other Warnings than just those against Smoking ‘¦.

I always found it a bit funny when the Central Board of Film Certification #CBFC started issuing the statutory warnings about Cigarette smoking in movies.

Every time an actor lights up a smoke during a scene these days, inevitably, the message pops up …. Statutory Warning: Cigarette Smoking is Injurious to health.

And now, the CBFC have taken this one step further, they will be issuing warnings against Drinking too (wonder if the Dry State Ex-Ruler #Modi has a hand in this 😛 just kiddin’)

Shahrukh Khan’s Happy New Year will probably be the first movie with this kind of a warning. So every time there is alcohol on the screen a warning will pop up …

Statutory Warning: Consumption of alcohol is injurious to health.

Sometimes, I feel, it might have been a better idea to simply do away with the projection of such scenes, but I guess if the CBFC is happy with allowing these scenes and simply issuing a warning, who am I to complain?

Right?

If sources are to be believed, the CBFC have now turned a new leaf and are planning to educate the movie going audience about the evils that surround them by well placed warnings throughout the movies.

Soon we will have various warnings popping up in the middle of a movie.

When Sunny Leone dances seductively to “Baby Doll main Sone Di” we will see…

Wearing Revealing Clothes Might Lead to Rape.

Cover yourself Up!: Khap Panchayat Warning

And when we have a Hero whipping out his smartphone to receive his Maa ka Phone, flashing below on the screen, you will find …

Mobile Phone Radiations can be Harmful for your Ears and Might Cause Cancer.: Juhi Chawla Warning

I wouldn’t be too surprised if whenever a heroine does a sexy rain dance to “Tip Tip Barsa Paani” we get a flash warning…

Getting Excessively Wet in Rains Can Cause Pneumonia … Dry Yourself Quickly : Vicks VapoRub Warning

And then in the cases of those extensive high speed car chases we will have …

Please Obey Traffic Rules! Wear Seat Belts!: Issued in Public Interest by RTO.

For almost every Fight scene we can have a warning that goes …

Criminal Actions Are Punishable by Law. Don’t take Law in Your hands or be Ready to Pay a Bribe: Issued in their own Interest by Indian Police 😉

When the Heroine’s father gets all hyper about his daughter running away with a Phateechar Hero, we will probably see a …

Excessive Stress May Cause Heart Diseases: WHO Warning

And ofcourse, when a Kajol runs after a train and is pulled in by a Shah Rukh, we will have this flashing in bold letters …

Chalti Gaadi Mein Chadhna Mana Hain: Aapki Seva Mein Haazir, Bharatiya Rail Vibhag!!

I can, perhaps, think of a warning for almost every scene which takes place in our Bollywood movies.

And though, I think, that it would spoil the fun of the movie, I do think that the CBFC is doing a very honorable job by introducing such warnings in the interest of Public Health and Safety (Yeah Right!! :P)

That said, I wonder if the CBFC can come up with a Statutory Warning for Sajid Khan films??

Something like…

Watching This Movie Can Impair Your Ears, Eyes, and all Other Senses. Might also Cause Brain Damage: Angry Viewers Warning!!!

Now that would only be sensible, Right? 😛

Disclaimer: Reading The Humour Section and Not Having a Good Laugh, Might be Injurious to Your Health and Our Enthusiasm … Statutory Warning. 😛

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