Now that we have firmly decided the Legal Age to have sex, we face another problem!
A Legal places to have sex !!!
Of course, most people do understand that, sex is a special act that has to be conducted behind closed doors, but with the recent raids on Hotels and Motels, it becomes increasingly confusing, for the Star Crossed Lovers, to zero in on a LEGAL PLACE which can actually be private, without their act being termed as a PUBLIC INDECENCY!
So, it might actually be nice and quite helpful of our responsible Police Wallahs to declare, officially of course, a few such places where lovers can LEGALLY HAVE SEX!
Like, let’s say your Papa Ka Office??
And not after office hours either. I mean, if papa actually knows what you are up to and are close at hand, and if at all the cops catch you, you don’t have to go and call your pop on the phone, he would be right next door, right? Handy as ever!
How about Mum’s Kitchen Garden??
That ways, mum knows that you are just having a fun learning session, and all she has to do is keep her eyes (and ears, in case of screamers) closed and everything should be hunky dory. Just make sure the gardens are enclosed or the Peeping Toms who try to watch girls changing their dresses on a regular basis (they can be our beloved police wallahs too, chances are actually high), might get their sensitivities outraged.
Or maybe the government can come up with some shelters on the roadsides. Completely closed and guarded by the cops. Call them “Dancing Shelters” like Dancing Cars of PK, if you want!
The Cops can verify the legal documents of the couples who want to enter such a shelter for having sex. Ensure that they have taken Parental Consent. Make sure that they want to have sex, strictly for making babies or they want to practice for a college Biology class, and not for having pleasure… And then let them have a go at it! And I am strictly not counting “500 or 1000 ki patti”, which they will definitely not charge for letting them enter! We know them so well, don’t we?
Also, they can hang two roses kissing each other outside the door, so that everyone knows that the shelter is occupied. (Indian Cinema did give us some PUBLICALLY DECENT signs, right?)
And if they really want to make it secure, the cops can actually have a Home Guard in such shelters, like they have in the Delhi Buses?? That works, doesn’t it? (Special seats in Specially Guarded Buses? Can Be An Option for Legal Sex? I am thinking)
Then of course, they can always have a dress code. Which plainly means, “Be Fully Clothed While Having Sex.”
Our Bollywood Actors have managed that pretty well over the last few decades, so I don’t see why we can’t follow cue.
Also keeping the clothes on, will not make the act Indecent and being inside the shelter will not make it public!
Now, if only the cops listen to this plea and come up with such LEGAL Love Making Shelters for Couples, I am sure the lovebirds who resort to going to hotels, motels and lodges, for the lack of available privacy in their homes, due to joint families, will be heaving more than just sighs of relief 😉
Disclaimer: Married Couple availing such facilities should be accompanied by their children who should bear a striking resemblance with at least one of the parents. This is MANDATORY as per certain MUMBAI COPS.