Why we need to back out

It takes a lot to be the bad one in a relationship and call it quits. But, if signs indicate, you have to back out…


I have seen it happening all round me and even I was a victim of it – inertia. No matter how balanced a person you are and how much you love your peace of mind, at times, you need to break free from too much comfort and bring about the much-needed change. This stands true for relationships as well. Many a time, we end up being in a relationship with a person, longer than we should have. First of all, the realisation kicks in at a snail’s speed and when it does, there is something in us which holds us back from being the bad one to call it quits. We either get too cosy and comfortably placed in an affair that we ignore all signs that point towards a change, or we hesitate to end it, thinking that it would be difficult to cope up with the emotional trauma any break up brings along.

If you have been in a relationship for quite some time and have invested your invaluable youthful, growing up years in it, you end up living with a tendency to overlook signals that may question your decision of being with your partner. It can be a daunting task, but it is very important for you to come to terms with the truth.

When from deep within you have a hunch that he or she may not be the perfect partner for you to spend your life with, just let it go. Time, if not anything else, will make you realise how correct your decision was. However, it may take some time for you to bring yourself to say it, here are a few signs that indicate that it is time for you to put your foot down and back out.

No matter how long you have been with your partner, if your complaints go unheard and fail to illicit a response, it is time to act. At times, you have to force your way and make your partner sit and listen to you and do something about it. But, if he or she is not paying any heed to even your small grievances, it says a lot about the person, who is not even trying simple things and making even the smallest efforts to keep you happy. It is these little things that snowball into gigantic issues that can never be resolved, and at worst, you may end up feeling neglected and insignificant.

If you wish to stay with a person for long, it is very important for you two to be compatible in bed. And by compatibility I mean comfort. You can read up your dope on sex positions and how to maximise the pleasure, but if you are not comfortable in sharing and dealing with each other’s shortcomings, it won’t make things any better. For instance, there are times when you get stuck in an odd moment in bed with your partner. You should be able to talk about it freely or just share a good laugh and take it in good humour. There is no need either to feel or make the other person feel uncomfortable about it. Resolve the bedroom issues right there and don’t let them become big enough to trigger other problems.

When you are awestruck with a person and get into an affair, it starts with you feeling really good about yourself to be associated with such an awesome guy or a girl. Then it transforms into you feeling a little overshadowed by the presence of that person and at times, you may even feel belittled. You take it upon yourself to make it big in life, but hey, your partner is holding you back from exploring your true potential, because he or she is probably insecure. It could be the ignorance or ego, but if you feel you are not getting enough support and appreciation to accomplish your goals, there is something wrong and you need to change it.

When you are giving your best in a relationship, it hardly matters to you even if you sacrifice the comforts to be with that person. It may take a while for you to understand that you have actually altered your life and desires to suit your partner’s. Stop it right then.

One thing that gets you really close to a person is the fact that you both can openly talk to each other. But, if this is not the case with you, there’s no point in sharing your life with someone who you can’t communicate with.

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