Kejriwal may make throwing eggs and ink on politicians compulsory during Holi.
The battle of Benaras, as many of us would like to call it now, is coming near. Aam Aadmi Party leader Arvind Kejriwal is taking Bhartiya Janata Party prime ministerial nominee Narendra Modi head on. Although it is still unclear as to will win (really?) this battle, odds are that the politically sharp people of Varanasi may swing to any side.
While we all know what will happen in case Modi wins the seat because we have Gujarat to refer to, it will be really interesting to imagine what Kejriwal will do if he wins from Varanasi. Since we do not have much (actually nothing) to refer to from his Delhi stint, we have created a list of 10 things that may happen.
- Actually the first thing which may happen is a no brainer. Soon after winning the seat, Kejriwal will declare it a victory of people and take a resolve to keep fooling the people the same way he succeeded to do again.
- In case AAP manages to deliver a fractured mandate to the country (our badluck), he will join hands again with Congress party and become PM. Since he has not fielded any candidate against senior Congress leaders, except against Rahul, it will be easier.
- As a gratitude to Varanasi, he will crack the whip against all those Benarasi chaatwallahs who use Dalda instead of desi ghee.
- He may make throwing eggs and ink on politicians compulsory during Holi.
- Spell check facility will be removed from MS Word, courtesy his fund-raising friend for his spelling impaired colleague.
- The kumbh will be done in Delhi on a regular basis too, in lieu of dharnas. Imagine a sea of naga sadhus sitting on dharna on Jantar Mantar. How quickly the demands will be accepted!
- Shiela Dikshit will be reinstated as chief minister of Delhi and Yogendra Yadav will return to his old job of babysitting Rahul Gandhi.
- Kashmir will be a part of Pakistan resolving the terror issue for once and always except once in a while bomb attacks on Mumbai and elsewhere for poking fun.
- Chhatisgarh, Jharkhand, Bihar, West Bengal, and Madhya Pradesh will be ruled under another government of Naxals.
- Economy will be in shambles and defence will be left to vigilantes.
This April Fool’s Day, we have done too much thinking over the issue, now is your turn to fool them into thinking that this is true.